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Senses: Sound (5/5)




Senses. A ni-var, chapter 5/5
by athens7 (as Capt. J.T. Kirk, normal font)
and mazaher (as Cdr. Spock, italics)
completed Stardate 2010:12:05:19:00 (ship’s time).
Notes to series:
A ni-var is a Vulcan term denoting a literary composition describing the same thing, event or series of events from two different points of view.
Endnote numbers make reference to the whole series, not to each story or chapter.


5. Hearing. A suk-ni-var

summary: touch, taste, sight, smell, sound. Parallel paths winding, intersecting, and finally coming together. The sounds of bliss.
Note to chapter:
A suk-ni-var (“grand” ni-var) is a formally stricter variety of ni-var, it consists of 24 triplets in free verse about the twelve elements of a totality, alternating POVs.


For the blind presumption in his inflection
as he thrashed me with my father’s name,
I bite into my hand because yes, I wanted to punch him.

For the sound of his voice,
thick with unacknowledged emotion when standing for trial,
I hope I will have time to make him forget.

For the panic he could not keep out of his voice
as he tried to back away from me flinging his mother in his face,
I would vivisect my own tongue.

For the pounding of his strong heartbeat
when I was strangling him,
I wait for the day when I will feel forgiven.

For the way he halted and looked at me
as he explained why we would not make it,
for the first time I felt that he trusted me.

For the calm strenght in his words
when he offered to rescue his enemy,
I know his compassion is greater than mine.

For the mix of pride and contentment shining in his eyes
when he walked in and asked me permission to come aboard,
I still wonder what I’ve done to deserve that act of faith.

For the quiet, knowing smile and the happiness in his eyes
when I stood up to see if he still wanted me on board,
I will die rather than neglect my service.

For the impossible synchronization of our heartbeats
while we run for our lives,
I know that the galaxy will be ours.

For the sound of our footsteps along the corridors,
marching in unison,
I get up from bed at ship’s morning.

For how the note lasts
when he plucks the final string,
I know what the revolution of planets must sound like.

For the way he listens, really listens
when I play ralash-tanaf on the ka’athyra,
I want to learn new tunes.

For how he slightly pauses before he resumes speaking
whenever his planet is mentioned
I want to dive in a black hole and reshape the continuum.

For the triumph ringing in his voice when he shouts “Checkmate!”
and then looks up to see if I’m offended,
I do not wonder at how he fills my mind.

For how his right eyebrow raises
in silent comment of my latest joke,
I swear that I can hear him laughing.

For the sound of his sneeze (Vulcans don’t sneeze)
and for his hushed thanks when in the Human way I say “Bless you”,
I am filled with unpremeditated happiness.

For the choked “I am functional” he manages through gritted teeth
when he’s severely injured,
I hate our job with all my being.

For the way he says my name
when he is concerned for me
My heart misses a beat.

For how his usually even tone rises
when he reproaches me for my recklessness
I ache because I can’t promise him what he asks me.

For how his breath catches when Leonard’s fingertips
gently touch the edges of his latest wound,
I want to keep him safe always.

For being allowed the sight
of him combing his hair in front of the mirror,
my eyes burn with an unshed tear of joy.

For the scent of his skin I smell on the towel
When he showers before me
I do not need to burn my Vulcan incense.

For how he exhales my name
as he reaches the climax in my arms,
I know he is my truth divine.

For the way he makes love to me until
I forget my own name, and so I cling to his,
I know he is the logic of my being.



( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 18th, 2010 02:28 am (UTC)
why are there no comments on this?

it's beautiful and wonderful and completely heartrending in the most perfect sort of way.
Jan. 9th, 2011 11:05 am (UTC)
-- why are there no comments on this?

Wish I knew.. -_-
I dunno, probably I fail at promoting.
But you read and gave me awesome, heartwarming feedback, and now I'm happy. *Thank you* so much! =)
Jan. 9th, 2011 05:02 pm (UTC)
promote more!!! you are fantastic at writing.
Jan. 21st, 2011 01:04 pm (UTC)
...fammi riprendere fiato un secondo...ok, ci sono.
Scriverò il commento in Italiano perchè non credo di avere sufficiente presenza mentale da far cambiare lingua al mio cervello in questo momento...

Questa fanfiction è MERAVIGLIOSA e PERFETTA, non ho altro modo di descriverla (e pure quelle due parole sembrano non bastare). Ha uno stile poetico ed elaborato, ma non in modo eccessivamente ampolloso, che mi ha assolutamente deliziato. I milioni di riferimenti che avete messo al suo interno fanno di me una donnina felice, specialmente il riferimento al mito della caverna di Platone.
Credo di aver trovato solo altre due fic con questo genere di scrittura misto che avete usato, in cui figurano più forme letterarie in un'unica opera. Entrambe sono tra le mie dilette e questa fic non ha assolutamente nulla da invidiare a nessuna delle due.

Pertanto penso sia un assoluto crimine che questa storia abbia così pochi commenti, e sappiate già da ora che vi farò una pubblicità spietata!
Jan. 21st, 2011 04:59 pm (UTC)
Wow, non so davvero che dire.. *blush* Grazie!
Sai, questa storia ha davvero una grande importanza per me. Non solo è stata la prima K/S fic che ho scritto (anzi, diciamo pure che è stata la prima fanfiction che abbia scritto in assoluto!), ma ho avuto anche (e soprattutto) l'immensa fortuna di poter collaborare con la meravigliosa ('awe-inspiring' qui ci starebbe proprio bene) mazaher. Non immagini quanto abbia dovuto insistere prima di riuscire a convincermi! E se nel corso dei 6 lunghi mesi che ci sono voluti non avessi avuto le sue meravigliose mail a incoraggiarmi e spronarmi, credo proprio che 'Senses' non avrebbe mai visto la luce del web.
Ci abbiamo messo davvero tutto il nostro impegno, ed è una gioia ricevere commenti così positivi in cambio. Sì, ammetto che a volte la scarsità di feedback mi scoraggia (diciamo che ho la depressione facile), ma cerco di non farci troppo caso. Questo ovviamente non vuol dire che la tua offerta di pubblicità non sia enormemeeeente apprezzata!! :D

Grazie ancora!! <3
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )